“AYAZDA B\u0130R Y\u00dcREK”, U\u011fur K\u00f6kden, ADAM SANAT, Eyl\u00fcl 1994, Say\u0131:106<\/p>\n
Ye\u015fil \u00e7uha kapl\u0131 bir masa. \u00dcst\u00fcne yat\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ivedisiz, nazl\u0131 nazl\u0131 bekleyen bir keman. Seksen ayr\u0131 par\u00e7adan olu\u015fmu\u015f sihirli ah\u015fap kutu. \u00dcst kapa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcndeki zarif iki delik -her biri, bir \u00e7e\u015fit sol anahtar\u0131- m\u00fczi\u011fin f\u0131\u015fk\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 iki g\u00f6zeyi and\u0131r\u0131yor. Tellerden \u00e7evreye yay\u0131lan ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc t\u0131n\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015f g\u00f6mlekli, boyunba\u011fl\u0131, gen\u00e7 bir ad\u0131m, kendi kendine keman \u00e7al\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
“-M\u00fczik nedir?” Bir a\u015fk m\u0131 yoksa bir d\u00fc\u015f m\u00fc?”<\/p>\n
Claude Sautet’nin Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek filmindeki gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n, Camille, a\u015fk olarak alg\u0131l\u0131yor bu sorunun cevab\u0131n\u0131. Erkek, St\u00e9phan’sa bir d\u00fc\u015f! Ama, bu d\u00fc\u015f bir an\u0131lar toplam\u0131 de\u011fil. Ya\u015fam\u0131n ta kendisi! Yal\u0131n ve \u00e7\u0131plak yanlar\u0131yla, ger\u00e7ek ya\u015fam\u0131n!<\/p>\n
M\u00fczisyenler Kahvesi’nde, g\u00fcpeg\u00fcnd\u00fcz, kendini yaralnm\u0131\u015f sayan gencecik bir k\u0131z, \u00f6fkeyle erke\u011fe ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131r: “D\u00fc\u015flerden ne anlars\u0131n sen?” \u00d6yle ya, d\u00fc\u015fler ya\u015famdan bir par\u00e7aysa, ya\u015fam\u0131n i\u00e7inde sevgi yok mu? Bu \u00f6fke an\u0131ndan sonra, utan\u00e7 saati gelip \u00e7atar. Kad\u0131n, telleri kopmu\u015f bir \u00e7alg\u0131 gibi duyumsar. \u00c7enesindeki gamze b\u00fcy\u00fcr, ka\u015flar\u0131 cetvelle \u00e7izilmi\u015f gibi d\u00fcz bir \u00e7izgiye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr; etli alt duda\u011f\u0131 hafif\u00e7e a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya do\u011fru sarkar. Meydan okuyan a\u011f\u0131z silinir, yok olur.<\/p>\n
Sessiz duran erkek, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakini uzun uzun, ayr\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 bir bi\u00e7imde inceleler. \u00c7enenin ve boynun birbirine eklenerek p\u00fcr\u00fczs\u00fcz inen \u00e7izgisini, burnun suyarl\u0131 kanatlar\u0131n\u0131, s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 geriye \u00e7ekilerek ensenin \u00fcst\u00fcnde toplanan \u0130spanyol topuzunda d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenmi\u015f bak\u0131r k\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 seyreder bir s\u00fcre. Al\u0131p verdi\u011fi solu\u011fun boynunda olu\u015fturdu\u011fu \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 ve g\u00f6lgeleri; kula\u011f\u0131ndaki dar, ince, maden halkay\u0131, s\u00f6ylenmeyen nice k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck inceli\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr bir bir.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek, asl\u0131na bak\u0131l\u0131rsa \u00e7ok eskitilmi\u015f bir a\u015fk \u00fc\u00e7geni: iki erkek -Maxime ve St\u00e9phan- ile, bir kad\u0131n, Camille. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fte, bu \u00fc\u00e7genin k\u00f6\u015feleri aras\u0131nda uzun aral\u0131klar var. Her kenar\u0131n uzunlu\u011fu millerle \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclebilir. Bununla birlikte, her k\u00f6\u015fe, \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne uzak oldu\u011fu \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde da yak\u0131n. Z\u0131tl\u0131klar, mutluluk ve ac\u0131, bir arada ya\u015fan\u0131yor. Chabrol’un deyimiyle, mutluluk i\u00e7inde cehennem ya\u015fayan bir \u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc. (*)<\/p>\n
Y\u00f6netmen bu filmini ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirdi\u011finde, yetmi\u015fe merdiven dayam\u0131\u015f bir insan. Onun erkekleri de k\u0131rk ya\u015f dolay\u0131nda. Belki ula\u015fmam\u0131\u015f, ama yak\u0131n. Hepsi de, az ya da \u00e7ok sorunlu. Bunal\u0131mlar\u0131 var. Buna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k maddi durumlar\u0131 iyi. Ortan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde. B\u00fcy\u00fck kentte -s\u00f6zgelimi Paris- ya\u015f\u0131yorlar. \u00d6b\u00fcr filmleri de b\u00f6yle. Hayat Ba\u011flar\u0131 (Les Choses de la Vie) \u00f6rne\u011fin.<\/p>\n
Abart\u0131dan uzak, ger\u00e7e\u011fin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 i\u00e7inde, her bak\u0131mdan iyi anlat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6zenle \u00e7ekilmi\u015f ve ustaca oynanm\u0131\u015f bir film, Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek.. \u00dcst\u00fcnde \u00e7ok duruldu\u011fu, \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc belli. Claude Sautet’yle film aras\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131 bir duygu ba\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011funu kabul ederek, bu yetmi\u015flik bilge gencin ne denli incelikler ve duyarl\u0131 alanlar \u00fcst\u00fcnde gezindi\u011fine hi\u00e7 \u015fa\u015fmamak gerek. T\u00fcm se\u00e7imleri de, bunu kan\u0131tlam\u0131yor mu?<\/p>\n
Yaln\u0131z filmin isminin T\u00fcrk\u00e7e’ye \u00e7evrili\u015finde hangi \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclerde ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olunmu\u015f, kestirmek g\u00fc\u00e7. S\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin her s\u00f6yleni\u015finde yad\u0131rgat\u0131c\u0131, kaba, yerine tam oturmam\u0131\u015f bir ses \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. \u0130simden filme ula\u015fmak, nerdeyse olanaks\u0131z. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla, izleyicinin kendi ba\u015f\u0131na s\u0131namas\u0131 -g\u00f6z\u00fc kapal\u0131 g\u00f6rmesi- gerekiyor. (**)<\/p>\n
Bununla birlikte, izleyicinin do\u011frudan ula\u015fabilece\u011fi apa\u00e7\u0131k sahneler de eksik de\u011fil. Ama, Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek, kaba de\u011ferlendirmeyle, g\u00fczelli\u011fin, unutulmaz s\u0131cakl\u0131kta dostluklar\u0131n kenarda k\u00f6\u015fede, ara bo\u015fluklarda, alt katmanlarda, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck susu\u015flarda, k\u0131saca atk\u0131 ve \u00e7\u00f6zg\u00fclerde sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6zel bir ipek dokuma. \u0130nsan\u0131 yakalayan, heyecanland\u0131ran bir ses. M\u00fczi\u011fin konu\u015fmalar\u0131n m\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131na kar\u0131\u015fmas\u0131. Sevgi. A\u00e7\u0131\u011fa vurulmayan duyarl\u0131klar.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
St\u00e9phan’la Maxime, \u00e7ok eski iki arkada\u015f (***). Konservatuar \u00f6\u011frencili\u011fi y\u0131llar\u0131ndan bug\u00fcne gelmi\u015f bir yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 payla\u015f\u0131yorlar. \u00d6\u011frencili\u011fin ard\u0131ndan, birlikte omuz verilen ortak bir i\u015f: M\u00fczik aletleri -uzmanla\u015fma, daha \u00e7ok keman \u00fczerine- onar\u0131m ve \u00fcretimi. Belli bir be\u011feniyi ele veren se\u00e7kin bir i\u015fyerinde se\u00e7kin m\u00fc\u015fteriler. Bir bak\u0131ma, bir keman hastanesi sanki: \u0130yile\u015fenler, yeni do\u011fanlar, sahip de\u011fi\u015ftirenler, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir el uzatmayla herhangi bir keman\u0131n yeni bir \u00f6zellik -bamba\u015fka bir t\u0131n\u0131- kazanmas\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u0130ki gen\u00e7 erke\u011fin ikisi de, birbirini oldu\u011fu gibi kabul ediyor; iyi bir “tak\u0131m” olu\u015fturuyorlar. “Biz konu\u015fmadan birbirimizi anlar\u0131z.” Ama, i\u015ften sonra, “herkes kendi yoluna gider.”<\/p>\n
Uzun, soluk bir ge\u00e7mi\u015f, payla\u015f\u0131lmayan bir gelecek.<\/p>\n
Belki Maxime’in arkada\u015f\u0131na yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131, St\u00e9phan’\u0131n \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne olan duygular\u0131ndan daha a\u011f\u0131r bas\u0131yor bile denebilir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc birincinin tersine, Maxime’in karakteri d\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fck bir \u00f6zellik ta\u015f\u0131yor. A\u00e7\u0131k bir yap\u0131ya sahip. T\u0131pk\u0131 y\u00fcz \u00e7izgilerindeki keskinlikte, a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n kararl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, sert ve k\u00f6\u015feli \u00e7enesinde, ac\u0131mas\u0131z ve ba\u015ftan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131c\u0131 tavr\u0131nda; sonunda da, M\u00fczisyenler Kahvesi’nde, arkada\u015f\u0131na vurdu\u011fu beklenmedik -kopu\u015fu simgeleyen- tokatta g\u00f6r\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi.<\/p>\n
Maxime belirli bir be\u011feniyi sergileyen, ama tutkusu olmayan bir insan. En az\u0131ndan, yak\u0131n arkada\u015f\u0131 St\u00e9phan’\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcndeki yeri bu.<\/p>\n
Yaln\u0131z g\u00f6zleri g\u00fclen, delici ve k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131z bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakinin en gizemli b\u00f6lgelerine bile ula\u015f\u0131yor g\u00f6r\u00fcnen St\u00e9phan, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fte yumu\u015fak bir izlenim b\u0131rak\u0131yor. Oysa o a\u011fz\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131, d\u0131\u015fa kapal\u0131 ve kat\u0131 bir insan. Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ya da yan\u0131nda bulunanlar\u0131n, ona her zaman katlanabilece\u011fini ummak elbette zor. Gen\u00e7 kemanc\u0131 bile, bir an i\u00e7in onun sessizli\u011fine sayg\u0131 duymas\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131n, sonunda duramay\u0131p patlar: “B\u00f6yle devam edemezsin!” diye hayk\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n
“Bu ko\u015fullar i\u00e7inde ya\u015famaktan hi\u00e7 s\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131yor musun?”<\/p>\n
St\u00e9phan, “Hay\u0131r!” diye kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verir.<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ekten, kap\u0131lar\u0131 kapal\u0131, \u00e7eperi buz tutmu\u015f bir y\u00fcrekle ya\u015fam nas\u0131l s\u00fcrebilir? Duygular\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmser g\u00f6r\u00fcnen b\u00f6yle bir insan\u0131n, kendi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na bile katlanmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7.<\/p>\n
Zaman\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n iki ergen, olgun insan\u0131. Aralar\u0131ndaki ili\u015fki ne dostluk ne de i\u015f ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131! y\u0131llarla kan\u0131ksam\u0131\u015f, hi\u00e7bir bi\u00e7imde \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtmalara yer b\u0131rakmayan, beklentisiz, aral\u0131kl\u0131 bir arkada\u015fl\u0131k. Silahlanm\u0131\u015f bir yans\u0131zl\u0131k siyasas\u0131 yerine, arada d\u00fcr\u00fcst, i\u00e7ten ve s\u0131radan bir i\u015fbirli\u011fi havas\u0131n\u0131n egemen oldu\u011fu ba\u015fka t\u00fcr bir ili\u015fki.<\/p>\n
\u00d6te yandan \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda, \u00f6zellikle s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131n sonuna ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir burjuva uygarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc iki yeti\u015fkin, e\u011fer bunlar belirli bir siyasi ama\u00e7 u\u011fruna silah arkada\u015f\u0131 de\u011filse, birbirlerine ne verebilir? \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc payla\u015fmayanlar, sevgi i\u00e7in nas\u0131l \u00f6zveride bulunsuz?<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Y\u00f6netmen C. Sautet’ye her zaman de\u011ferli olagelmi\u015f belliba\u015fl\u0131 birka\u00e7 izle\u011fin film boyunca a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 korudu\u011fu g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcyor, t\u0131pk\u0131 i\u00e7-i\u00e7e oluklardan akan sular gibi: \u0130\u015f, dostluk, ba\u015far\u0131 ve…<\/p>\n
Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek’in yal\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131, \u00e7arp\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, dengesi, ruhsal s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n belli belirsiz yumu\u015fak bi\u00e7imde ge\u00e7i\u015fi, ki\u015filerin kendi aralar\u0131ndaki i\u00e7 denge titiz bir duyarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ele veriyor. Bu nedenle ince bir b\u0131\u00e7ak s\u0131rt\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde durdu\u011fu halde, melodrama d\u00fc\u015fmekten kurtulmay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f bir film, Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek.<\/p>\n
Asl\u0131nda, \u00f6yk\u00fc Lermontov’un. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla, Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek’te -ismiyle, kimli\u011fiyle- yap\u0131s\u0131na yak\u0131\u015fan bir slav duyarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 kendini duyurur. Fransa’n\u0131n (bu s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn yerine “Bat\u0131l\u0131 insan” da denebilir, rahatl\u0131kla) varolan ya\u015famda kendisinden gittik\u00e7e uzakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 o soylu duygular d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndan derlenmi\u015f, o yitik d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00f6ne \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 karma\u015f\u0131k bir kesit!<\/p>\n
Acaba Claude Sautet, yetmi\u015f y\u0131ll\u0131k bir ya\u015famdan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 bilgece sonucu mu izleyicisine sunmak istiyor? Belki de, Bat\u0131 Uygarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcne bir sorgulama denemesi!<\/p>\n
Kald\u0131 ki, benzer bir durum ya da sorgulama, \u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcn\u00fcn Konservatuar’daki ortak \u00f6\u011fretmenlerinin ya\u015fam\u0131na -hastan\u0131n kendi iste\u011fi \u00fcst\u00fcne- son verilmesi karar\u0131nda da g\u00f6zlenmiyor mu? (****) Ayr\u0131ca, b\u00f6ylesi zor bir se\u00e7imin St\u00e9phan taraf\u0131ndan uygulamaya konulmas\u0131 bile, belirli bir anlam ta\u015f\u0131yor. Bir \u00e7e\u015fit y\u00f6nlendirilmi\u015f eylem, sanki yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131. (*****).<\/p>\n
Ama, neden o?<\/p>\n
Yoksa y\u00f6netmen, St\u00e9phan’\u0131n kat\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir kez daha m\u0131 vurgulamak istiyor? Ya da, \u00f6\u011fretmenin \u00f6\u011frencisine ili\u015fkin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleri nedeniyle mi? “St\u00e9phan m\u0131? O, \u00e7ok ba\u015fka birisi!”<\/p>\n
Bah\u00e7ede yenilen \u00e7ok konuklu yemekte bile, St\u00e9phan’a y\u00f6nelik su\u00e7lamalar\u0131 do\u011frudan \u00f6\u011fretmeni g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs\u015fer. Onu o savunur: “Hay\u0131r, St\u00e9phan bir korkak de\u011fil! Tersine, onun i\u00e7inde, derinliklerinde b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ate\u015f gizli!” Ger\u00e7ekten, t\u00fcm o yabans\u0131 yemek boyunca s\u00f6ylenen s\u00f6zlerde, ona kar\u015f\u0131 bilerek, insafs\u0131zca, dikkatle ve sab\u0131rla \u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f a\u00e7\u0131k bir sald\u0131r\u0131 halinin kokusu duyulmuyor mu? (6*)<\/p>\n
\u015eu anda, yine o ge\u00e7iyor g\u00f6zlerimin \u00f6n\u00fcnden: Keman\u0131n\u0131 ye\u015fil \u00e7uhadan yava\u015f\u00e7a eline alarak \u00e7enesinin alt\u0131na yerle\u015ftirmi\u015f, g\u00f6zleri bo\u015flu\u011fa dikili bir St\u00e9phan. S\u00fcsten ar\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n koyu g\u00f6lgeleriyle dolu so\u011fuk e\u015fli\u011finde, yumu\u015fak bir dokunu\u015fla keman\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7almaya ba\u015flar. Bu kez yaln\u0131z kendisi i\u00e7in, so\u011fumu\u015f bir y\u00fcre\u011fi \u0131s\u0131tmak i\u00e7in (7*) \u00e7almaya koyulur. Ravel’den soyut ezgiler. Keskin ve sert notalar…<\/p>\n
Mesle\u011fini her \u015feyin \u00fcst\u00fcnde tutan bu adam, Konservatuar’\u0131 bitrerek m\u00fczi\u011fin yolunda ni\u00e7in y\u00fcr\u00fcmedi acaba? Salt, “Sesimi be\u011fenmedim!” s\u00f6zleri yeterli bir a\u00e7\u0131klama say\u0131labilir mi? \u00dcstelik, bunu s\u00f6yleyen gene kendisi! Tuhaf bir yazg\u0131 St\u00e9phan’\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fini hem sevgiye, hem m\u00fczi\u011fe kapatmas\u0131. Kald\u0131 ki, y\u00fcre\u011fi m\u00fczi\u011fe kapal\u0131 olsa bile kula\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k. Hem herkesten daha yetkin bir d\u00fczayde!<\/p>\n
Oysa, \u00f6teki arkada\u015f\u0131nda b\u00f6ylesi y\u00fcksek i\u00e7 duvarlar g\u00f6r\u00fclmez. Maxime ona gen\u00e7 kemanc\u0131dan s\u00f6z a\u00e7madan \u00f6nce, “Bana \u00f6nemli bir \u015fey oldu,” der. “Birini sevece\u011fimi anlad\u0131m.”<\/p>\n
Bu s\u00f6zlere St\u00e9phan ilgisiz kal\u0131r; dahas\u0131 so\u011fuk bile durur. Belli belirsiz bir “Ya!” der. Sesi donuk, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 uzaklardad\u0131r nerdeyse. Ta ki, onu g\u00f6r\u00fcnceye dek. Camille’in bir da\u011fba\u015f\u0131 p\u0131nar\u0131 gibi duru, saydam, masum \u00e7ehresini se\u00e7inceye dek.<\/p>\n
Bir an, St\u00e9phan’\u0131n g\u00f6zleri gen\u00e7 k\u0131za tak\u0131l\u0131 kal\u0131r. Onu, saklayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir \u00f6zlemle seyreder (8*). “Zerafetle birle\u015fmi\u015f bir g\u00fczellik!” diye f\u0131s\u0131ldar, yan\u0131ndakine. “\u00c7ok \u00e7ekici, ger\u00e7ekten! Se\u00e7kin, gizemli, yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n bilincinde!”<\/p>\n
“-G\u00fczelden de \u00f6te! G\u00f6n\u00fcl\u00e7elen! Bir \u00e7e\u015fit, g\u00fczellikten ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z say\u0131lacak bir canayak\u0131nl\u0131k! Ancak bir k\u0131s\u0131m kad\u0131n\u0131n sahip olabilece\u011fi tanr\u0131sal bir arma\u011fan!” St\u00e9phan bunlar\u0131 s\u00f6yledi mi ger\u00e7ekten, yoksa yaln\u0131zca d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc m\u00fc pek belli de\u011fil!<\/p>\n
Sevginin saati \u00e7al\u0131nca, Claude Sautet’nin kendine \u00f6zg\u00fc bir izle\u011fi daha devreye girmi\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr: \u0130\u015f, dostluk, ba\u015far\u0131, sonra kad\u0131n, ve…<\/p>\n
Havada Ravel’den ezgiler. Oda m\u00fczi\u011finin u\u00e7u\u015fan notalar\u0131.<\/p>\n
Keman onar\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131 St\u00e9phan, gene kendisi gibi al\u00e7akg\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc bir sanat\u00e7\u0131 ki\u015fili\u011fi sergileyen Ravel’den par\u00e7alar \u00e7alar keman\u0131yla. Bir ara beyaz mendiliyle boynunu ve keman\u0131n\u0131 siler.<\/p>\n
Elindeki bir “Guarnerius” mu, acaba? \u00c7ok eski bir \u0130talyan keman\u0131? Yoksa, ona d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fen herhangi bir telli saz m\u0131? Ne olursa olsun, o kemandan \u00e7\u0131kan insanlar\u0131n do\u011frudan y\u00fcre\u011fine seslenen bir m\u00fczik. Bu nedenle St\u00e9phan i\u00e7in iyi bir arkada\u015f, l\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131. Bir e\u015f\u00e9 Onu anlayan, b\u00fct\u00fcnleyen bir e\u015f!<\/p>\n
“Sesime g\u00fcvenememi\u015ftim.”<\/p>\n
Bunu s\u00f6yleyen St\u00e9phan’\u0131n \u015fu andaki sesi, ilk g\u00fcnlerin sesi de\u011fil ku\u015fkusuz. O ses zman\u0131 yedi; olgunla\u015ft\u0131, derinlik kazand\u0131, sevgiyle doldu. Art\u0131k onun heyecan\u0131, d\u0131\u015favurumu, belli bir \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcl\u00fck kazanm\u0131\u015f surumda. Ayn\u0131 zamanda, al\u0131nyaz\u0131s\u0131na boyun e\u011fmi\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n
Onun bir ba\u015fka \u00f6zelli\u011fi de, s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u015fte kendisine b\u00fcy\u00fck bir g\u00fcven duymas\u0131. \u0130\u015fte, Ravel’le bir ba\u015fka ortak yan! Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131llarda Ravel’i \u00f6\u011fretim d\u00fcnyas\u0131 yads\u0131m\u0131\u015f, bu y\u00fczden “Roma \u00d6d\u00fcl\u00fc”n\u00fc alamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc. Hem y\u00fczy\u0131l\u0131n en yetenekli bestecilerinden biri olmas\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131n. O halde, ayd\u0131n, g\u00f6rg\u00fcl\u00fc, iyi e\u011fitim g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f, kendi alan\u0131nda ustala\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir bestecinin film i\u00e7in ba\u015fvuru ekseni se\u00e7ili\u015fi yal\u0131n bir rastlant\u0131 olabilir mi? Ravel’in ki\u015fili\u011finde, Y\u00f6netmen, St\u00e9phan’a bir g\u00f6nderme niyeti ta\u015f\u0131mas\u0131n bu yolla? Kim bilir?<\/p>\n
Sesine, yetene\u011fine g\u00fcvenemeyen bir yaln\u0131z\u0131n keman onar\u0131m\u0131nda sergiledi\u011fi \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131, \u00e7eli\u015fkili y\u00fcksek ba\u015far\u0131?<\/p>\n
Sevgiden h\u00fczne do\u011fru yol alan lavanta mavisi bir ser\u00fcven. (9*) Bir yeralt\u0131 \u0131rma\u011f\u0131. Kayna\u011f\u0131 belli olsa bile, hangi denize d\u00f6k\u00fclece\u011fi belirsiz. St\u00e9phan’\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131, y\u00fcrek so\u011fuklu\u011fu yaln\u0131z sevgide de\u011fil, asl\u0131nda mesle\u011finde de kendini g\u00f6steriyor. (10*)<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Dinlenme salonu.<\/p>\n
Sonatlar \u00fcst\u00fcnde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ve sevimli bir topluluk. Ayn\u0131 aileden iki yayl\u0131 bir vurmal\u0131 \u00e7alg\u0131. Bir piyano, bir \u00e7ello, bir de keman. Bir de toplulu\u011fa e\u015flik eden g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen besteci, Ravel. Debussy’nin g\u00f6lgesindeki \u00f6zel \u0131\u015f\u0131k kayna\u011f\u0131. Ba\u015f rol oyuncusu, besbelli yine keman. Camille’in lirik keman\u0131. Salonda, oda m\u00fczi\u011finin sayg\u0131n ruhu u\u00e7u\u015fuyor. Dinleyiciler soluksuz.<\/p>\n
Bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck m\u00fczik \u00fc\u00e7geninde bile, gen\u00e7 virt\u00fc\u00f6ze tutkun birisi yer alm\u0131\u015f. Ama, sorun do\u011furacak \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde d\u0131\u015fa vurmuyor bu “i\u015f” sevgisi. Katlan\u0131labilir, ho\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fclebilir t\u00fcrden. Sanki gen\u00e7 k\u0131z, yak\u0131n \u00e7evresi i\u00e7in her zaman bir sevgi m\u0131knat\u0131s\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131 konulmaz bir \u00e7ekim g\u00fcc\u00fc.<\/p>\n
Provalar St\u00e9phan da kat\u0131l\u0131r. Camille’in iste\u011fi \u00fczerine ta da kendi istedi\u011fi i\u00e7in. Ancak uzak varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131 etkiler, sarsar. \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bile bozar. Hi\u00e7bir s\u00f6z ge\u00e7meden aralar\u0131nda, bunu yaln\u0131z ikisi anlayacakt\u0131r. Birinin \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gitmesi, vazge\u00e7mesi gerekir. O zaman kay\u0131t odas\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmak St\u00e9phan’a d\u00fc\u015fer. T\u0131pk\u0131 Camille’in sevgisini b\u0131rak\u0131p gidi\u015fi gibi. Ya da, ortak i\u015f yerinden ayr\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131 gibi.<\/p>\n
Kay\u0131t g\u00fcn\u00fc, herkesin saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar. Herkes i\u00e7in yeni bir durum ba\u015flar. Kay\u0131t s\u0131ras\u0131nda ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc yetkinlik g\u00f6steren gen\u00e7 k\u0131z \u00e7\u0131karken St\u00e9phan’a, “Senin i\u00e7in \u00e7ald\u0131m!” der.<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ek anla\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r art\u0131k. Rahatlayan gen\u00e7 kemanc\u0131, Maxime’le konu\u015ftu\u011funu a\u00e7\u0131klar.(11*) “Zor oldu, ama dinlemeyi bildi.” Anla\u015f\u0131lan o ki, her iki erkekle nereye dek gidece\u011fine karar vermi\u015ftir gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n. Duygular\u0131yla hareket ediyor g\u00f6r\u00fcnmesine kar\u015f\u0131n, ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \/ ni\u00e7in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilen bir hesap insan\u0131. \u00dcstelik, ta ba\u015ftan beri bilen.<\/p>\n
Gwewkti\u011finde o can al\u0131c\u0131 noktaya parmak basmas\u0131n\u0131 iyi bilir her kad\u0131n; erkek mant\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fc noktay\u0131 onlar kolayca bulabilirler.<\/p>\n
Birbirine ba\u011fl\u0131 bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma toplulu\u011funun Ravel’i se\u00e7mesiyle, \u00f6yk\u00fcn\u00fcn uzak slav k\u00f6keni aras\u0131nda ba\u011flar yok mu? Bir yanda Ravel’in ya\u015fam\u0131 boyunca Rus bestecilerinden etkileni\u015fi; \u00f6b\u00fcr yanda, Rimski-Korsakov ve Lermontov. Aye\u0131ca, gen\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131n do\u011frudan ve i\u00e7ten yap\u0131s\u0131yla Bolero bestecisinin ayd\u0131nl\u0131k \/ a\u00e7\u0131k se\u00e7ik yap\u0131t\u0131 aras\u0131nda bir duygu yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bulmak da olas\u0131.<\/p>\n
Kald\u0131 ki, Y\u00f6netmen’in bir ba\u015fka \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtma \u00f6\u011fesi daha var. O da, birbirini tan\u0131maks\u0131z\u0131n Maxime, Camille ve St\u00e9phan’\u0131n ilk kez bir Debussy dinletisinde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015f olmalar\u0131. O Debussy ki, Ravel’e giden yolun ilk b\u00fcy\u00fck, \u00f6nemli istasyonu. “Debussy” isimli bekleme odas\u0131nda, Camille’in c\u00f6mert ruhunun izlenimci bir m\u00fczik \u00e7izgisi \u00fcst\u00fcnde kanatland\u0131\u011f\u0131, ger\u00e7ek a\u011f\u0131rtl\u0131\u011f\u0131na kavu\u015ftu\u011fu g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
…sonra kad\u0131n ve ileti\u015fimsizlik, d\u00fc\u015fk\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131, yenildi.<\/p>\n
\u0130ki erkek aras\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n. Birincisinin elde tutamayaca\u011f\u0131, \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn ger\u00e7ek anlamda elde edemeyece\u011fi kadar g\u00fczel (12*) bu gen\u00e7 kemanc\u0131, Bo\u011faz’\u0131n bahar sabahlar\u0131n\u0131n mavi pusu gibi u\u00e7uk, duru ve al\u0131ml\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcyle, orta ya\u015f erkeklerinin \u00f6n\u00fcne konmu\u015f bir \u00e7e\u015fir “s\u0131nav” m\u0131?<\/p>\n
Erke\u011fin, en az\u0131ndan gen\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131n ilgisini \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ek. St\u00e9phan’\u0131n Camille’e do\u011fru belirgin, somut birtak\u0131m ad\u0131mlar att\u0131\u011f\u0131. \u00d6zellikle kay\u0131t provalar\u0131nda. Ya\u011fmur alt\u0131nda bir ko\u015fu ula\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f kahvede i\u00e7ilen s\u0131cak koyu kahve, bira e\u015fli\u011finde yenilen peynir taba\u011f\u0131.<\/p>\n
S\u00f6zc\u00fcks\u00fcz s\u00f6zler. \u0130\u00e7inde maddenin yer almad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ileti\u015fim ortam\u0131; iki de\u011fi\u015fik ak\u0131\u015fkan aras\u0131nda yaln\u0131zca m\u00fczi\u011fin “iletken” rol\u00fc oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6zel sevgi kozas\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ama, \u00f6te yandan, Ravel’i dinlerken bile, St\u00e9phan’\u0131n kat\u0131 bir tav\u0131r sergileyi\u015fi, kendini b\u0131rakmay\u0131\u015f\u0131 nas\u0131l a\u00e7\u0131klanacak?(13*)<\/p>\n
O halde, t\u00fcm bu \u00e7eli\u015fkili davran\u0131\u015flar niye?<\/p>\n
Yoksa St\u00e9phan, kendisine mi bir \u015feyler kan\u0131tlamak istiyor? (14*) Karlar alt\u0131nda bir y\u00fcre\u011fin, \u0131l\u0131k bir mart sabah\u0131 penceresini aralay\u0131nca, birdenbire ilkyaz\u0131n geli\u015fini g\u00f6rerek \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fmesi mi? (15*)<\/p>\n
Ya bu arada Camille’in konumu? Birinden uzakla\u015f\u0131rken \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne yakla\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor olmas\u0131n? Ya da, her iki erke\u011fi birlikte g\u00f6t\u00fcrmek \u00e7abas\u0131? (16*) Ne var ki, \u00f6yk\u00fcn\u00fcn as\u0131l \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 yan\u0131, kimin uzakla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne daha yakla\u015f\u0131yor oldu\u011fu? Erkek (St\u00e9phan) mi, kad\u0131n (Camille) m\u0131? B\u00f6yle bir harc\u0131, Y\u00f6netmen, usta i\u015fi nas\u0131l bir malzemeyle yo\u011furmay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f?<\/p>\n
D\u0131\u015f ko\u015fullar ne olursa oldun, St\u00e9phan kendine kar\u015f\u0131 bile ac\u0131mas\u0131z. “Belki herkesten \u00e7ok ben yokediyorum kendimi!” diyen o! “Seninle son \u015fans\u0131m\u0131 da yitirmi\u015f oldum.” A\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7as\u0131, bahts\u0131z bir bilin\u00e7!<\/p>\n
\u00c7eli\u015fki, \u00fcrk\u00fcnt\u00fc, g\u00fcvensizlik. Ve, son f\u0131rsat.<\/p>\n
“-Aldan\u0131yorsun! Senin hayalindeki insan ben de\u011filim!”<\/p>\n
Camille’in y\u00fcz\u00fcne, so\u011fuk bir tokat\u0131 and\u0131ran bu s\u00f6zleri s\u00f6yleyen de o! St\u00e9phan! \u00d6n\u00fcne, parlak bir g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f tepsi i\u00e7inde s\u00fcr\u00fclen sevgiye St\u00e9phan “Evet” deseydi, bu kez -kim bilir- g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir olas\u0131l\u0131kla erkek aldanm\u0131\u015f oalcakt\u0131. A\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a, o zoru se\u00e7ti. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, kimi zaman vazge\u00e7mek ba\u015flamaktan \u00e7ok daha zor de\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ekte, hepimizin i\u00e7inde bo\u015fluklar var. Onlar\u0131 sevgi dolduruncaya dek, \u00f6yle de bo\u015f kal\u0131yor. Ancak St\u00e9phan’\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011findeki bo\u015flu\u011fa isimsiz bir korku ve k\u0131\u015f yerle\u015fmi\u015f (17*) So\u011fu\u011fun dokudu\u011fu buzdan buzdan, ince bir \u00f6r\u00fcmcek a\u011f\u0131 t\u00fcm giri\u015fleri kapatm\u0131\u015f. D\u0131\u015ftan bak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, insans\u0131z bir ma\u011faraya \u00e7evirmi\u015f o \u0131ss\u0131z y\u00fcre\u011fi.<\/p>\n
Gene kay\u0131t g\u00fcn\u00fc. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck dinleme salonu.<\/p>\n
Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7eken g\u00fczel kemanc\u0131ya bakmak, dikkatimi onda yo\u011funla\u015ft\u0131rmak yerine, g\u00f6zlerimi kapayarak m\u00fczi\u011fi i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekiyorum. Belki de d\u00fc\u015f kuruyorum: Fas’ta ay\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n y\u0131kad\u0131\u011f\u0131 beyaz Ma\u011frip evlerinin birinin rahat oturma salonunda, K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck Prens’in babas\u0131 geliyor g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcne. \u00c7ay i\u00e7iyor, dudaklar\u0131nda s\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f c\u0131garas\u0131. Bir arkada\u015f\u0131 piyanoda Ravel \u00e7almakta, \u00f6b\u00fcr pilotlarsa bri\u00e7 oynuyorlar bir ba\u015fka k\u00f6\u015fede.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Yeni ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 yal\u0131nkat i\u015fli\u011finde, ince bir duman gibi keman\u0131ndan y\u00fckselen ses, yaln\u0131z yal\u0131n m\u00fczik, san\u0131l\u0131r ki Stephan’a taze bir ki\u015filik \u00fcfl\u00fcyor. Belki o ses varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fck\u00e7e, Camille onun i\u00e7in hep ya\u015fayacak. Geri kalan hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin \u00f6nemi olmadan St\u00e9phan’a bak\u0131l\u0131nca, kimi erkeklerin \u00f6nem verdikleri s\u00f6z konusu oldu\u011funda nas\u0131l ciddile\u015fti\u011fi daha bir iyi anla\u015f\u0131lmakta.<\/p>\n
U\u011fur K\u00f6kden, Adam Sanat<\/p>\n
(dipnotlar epey a\u011f\u0131r konu\u015ftu\u011fum yorumlar\u0131m oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in utand\u0131m, koymad\u0131m -ES)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“AYAZDA B\u0130R Y\u00dcREK”, U\u011fur K\u00f6kden, ADAM SANAT, Eyl\u00fcl 1994, Say\u0131:106 Ye\u015fil \u00e7uha kapl\u0131 bir masa. \u00dcst\u00fcne yat\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ivedisiz, nazl\u0131 nazl\u0131 bekleyen bir keman. Seksen ayr\u0131 par\u00e7adan olu\u015fmu\u015f sihirli ah\u015fap kutu. \u00dcst kapa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcndeki zarif iki delik -her biri, bir \u00e7e\u015fit sol anahtar\u0131- m\u00fczi\u011fin f\u0131\u015fk\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 iki g\u00f6zeyi and\u0131r\u0131yor. Tellerden \u00e7evreye yay\u0131lan ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc t\u0131n\u0131. \u0130\u015f g\u00f6mlekli, boyunba\u011fl\u0131, … Okumaya devam et “Ayazda Bir Y\u00fcrek \/ U\u011fur K\u00f6kden”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6264"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6264"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6265,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6264\/revisions\/6265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}