Aynur a\u011flamakl\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu. Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131! Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131! Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131! Ulan ne y\u0131lan\u0131, nereye ka\u00e7t\u0131, Aynur kim? G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7t\u0131m ve dikiz aynas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Araban\u0131n i\u00e7inde uyuyakalm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Koltu\u011fu d\u00fczeltip d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m, \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7\u0131kmaz bile\u011fime kadar \u00e7amura batt\u0131m. D\u00fcn sabah ba\u015flayan ya\u011fmur, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck alan\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00e7amur y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131na \u00e7evirmi\u015fti. Ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 araban\u0131n i\u00e7inde b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 unutmu\u015fum. Kamyonetin kasas\u0131na y\u00fckledi\u011fimiz kafesin i\u00e7inde Tarzan uyuz uyuz yalan\u0131yordu. \u00c7ad\u0131r\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde Aynur, ya\u011fan ya\u011fmura ald\u0131rmadan k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bikinisiyle, y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131 diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu. Petro pezevengi ortada yoktu. \u00c7amurlu ayaklar\u0131ma bakt\u0131m. Aynur g\u00fclmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNe ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorsun k\u0131z?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBenekli ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f \u0130smail abi!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNe demek ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKafesinin cam\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f d\u00fcn gece. Gitmi\u015f.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Benekli dedi\u011fi ikibu\u00e7uk metre boyunca bir boa y\u0131lan\u0131. Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda daha k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fc tabii. Aynur b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc. Zarars\u0131zd\u0131r. Tav\u015fan, fare, k\u00f6stebek, ne bulursak onunla besliyoruz. Geceleri, i\u015f oldu\u011fu zaman Aynur\u2019la dansa neye \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn uyur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPetro nerede?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBilmem \u0130smail abi. Uyuyordur.\u201d Kafas\u0131yla b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131 i\u015faret ediyor. \u0130smail Uygar Sirk Kumpanyas\u0131. \u0130smail Uygar, Aynur ve Petrosyan\u2019dan m\u00fcrekkep. Biri k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck iki \u00e7ad\u0131r, bir aslan ki ad\u0131 Tarzan\u2019d\u0131r, bir boa y\u0131lan\u0131 ki \u015fimdilik firaridir ve ad\u0131 Benekli\u2019dir, bir at ki beyazd\u0131r ve ad\u0131 Pamuk\u2019tur ve iki adet \u015eempanze maymunudur ki adlar\u0131 Ali ile Veli\u2019dir, bir kamyonet Ford marka ve \u00e7e\u015fitli alet edavattan ibaret k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ve eski bir sirk. B\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131rda g\u00f6sterilerin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, yerine g\u00f6re kasaban\u0131n, k\u00f6y\u00fcn ileri gelenlerine kumar oynatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z oluyordu. K\u00fclt\u00fcrel faaliyet yani. Onun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, At, maymunlar, Petrosyan alet edavatla o \u00e7ad\u0131rda uyurlar. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131rda Aynur, Benekli\u2019yle kal\u0131r. Arada s\u0131rada ben de orada uyurum. Tarzan iki y\u0131ld\u0131r kamyonetin \u00fcst\u00fcndeki kafeste yatar kalkar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yal\u0131nayak, ba\u015f\u0131kabak b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131ra y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m demek istiyorum. \u00c7amur giderek sar\u0131 bir zamk k\u0131vam\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131p, on metroluk bir mesafeyi g\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00e7 olmadan y\u00fcr\u00fcmenizi olanaks\u0131z k\u0131l\u0131yordu neredeyse. Aynur, benekli boa y\u0131lan\u0131n\u0131 unutmu\u015f, eliyle a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 kapayarak k\u0131k\u0131rd\u0131yordu. Git giyin ulan, bu halin ne dedim. G\u00fclerek \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131na ka\u00e7t\u0131. Manyak. \u00c7ok seviyorum bu k\u0131z\u0131. B\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131ra girer girmez maymunlar alk\u0131\u015flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131lar. Zarif bir selam sark\u0131t\u0131p, saman y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde horlayan Petro\u2019ya hafif bir tekme \u00e7akt\u0131m. Bir g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc aralay\u0131p sar\u0131 beyaz pos b\u0131y\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan geni\u015f geni\u015f g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. Merhaba dedi. Benekli ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f Petro dedim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNereye ka\u00e7acak Patron? Nisbeten s\u0131cak bir \u00e7al\u0131 dibine k\u0131vr\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Uyuyordur. Aynur d\u00fcrt\u00fcklemese g\u00f6steride uyuyacak zavall\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u0130yi tamam anlad\u0131k ama aray\u0131p bulmak gerek.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBuluruz Patron, s\u0131kma can\u0131n\u0131! Pabu\u00e7lar\u0131na ne oldu?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bo\u015fver dedim. Bo\u015fver pabu\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131. Pa ayak demektir, bu\u00e7 \u00f6rten demek. \u0130kisi birle\u015fip ayak\u00f6rten oluyorlar. Bildi\u011fin ayakkab\u0131 yani. Peki sandalye ile iskemle aras\u0131ndaki fark nedir? \u00d6yle bir fark m\u0131 var? Yok mu? Petrosyan \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131n alt taraf\u0131na gidip s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fc ve uzun uzun i\u015fedi. Bu da b\u00f6yle bir adam i\u015fte. \u00dcst\u00fcne yoktur. Aynur elinde mavi plastik bir kova dald\u0131 \u00e7ad\u0131ra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAyaklar\u0131n i\u00e7in su getirdim \u0130smail abi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSa\u011fol g\u00fczelim. Zahmetler olmu\u015f. \u015euraya koyuver.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAyakkab\u0131lar\u0131nla yedek \u00e7orab\u0131n\u0131 arabadan alay\u0131m m\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs d\u00fc\u011fmelerini iliklemeyi unuttu\u011fu \u00e7i\u00e7ekli elbisesinin eteklerini savurarak \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 gitti yorulmak bilmez gen\u00e7 bir k\u00f6pek gibi. Petro ile ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek arkas\u0131ndan bakt\u0131k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNe yapaca\u011f\u0131z Petro?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cS\u0131kma can\u0131n\u0131 \u0130smail. Buluruz y\u0131lan\u0131 be! Bir y\u0131lan i\u00e7in a\u011flama. Buluruz dedik i\u015fte!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUlan siktirme y\u0131lan\u0131n\u0131 \u015fimdi! Y\u0131landan bahseden kim?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAh mesele daha m\u0131 derindir?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNe yapaca\u011f\u0131z?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Petrosyan y\u00fcz\u00fcme bak\u0131p g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. Pu\u015ft ermeni. Bunlar\u0131n hepsini kesmeliydik zaman\u0131nda. Bu herifi de \u00e7ok seviyordum, ne yapal\u0131m? Yirmi y\u0131ld\u0131r yan\u0131mda. Can yolda\u015f\u0131. \u0130smail Uygar Sirki, Petrosyan\u2019\u0131n geni\u015f omuzlar\u0131nda duruyor. Tarzan\u2019\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131na kafas\u0131n\u0131 sokan o, Tarzan\u2019\u0131 ate\u015fle \u00e7emberden atlatan o, benim \u00e7oluk \u00e7ocu\u011fa satt\u0131\u011f\u0131m dondurmay\u0131 yapan o, sihirbazl\u0131k yapan o, hokkabazl\u0131k yapan o, muhasebeye bakan o, vergileri \u00f6deyen o, kumar ak\u015famlar\u0131nda masay\u0131 idare eden o, manoyu alan \u0131, Aynur at s\u0131rt\u0131nda k\u0131\u00e7 k\u0131v\u0131r\u0131rken at\u0131 idare eden o, \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131 s\u00f6ken, kuran, y\u00fckleyen o, eee daha ne yapar bir insan? Maymunlar\u0131 da Petrosyan e\u011fitti, benden \u00e7ok onu severler, yanl\u0131\u015f anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131n, bir \u015fikayetim yok, ben hayvan sevmem asl\u0131nda. \u0130nsan da sevmem. Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi sevmiyorum. Ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 y\u0131k\u0131yorum burada, bu soluk pembe sirk \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131nda. Aynur ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 ve araban\u0131n torpedo g\u00f6z\u00fcnde saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131m siyah-mor, kenar\u0131 papatya desenli \u00e7oraplar\u0131m\u0131 getirdi. Maymunlar iyice azd\u0131lar, ne yapsam alk\u0131\u015fl\u0131yorlar. Ana avrat k\u00fcf\u00fcr edip \u00f6nce \u00e7oraplar\u0131m\u0131, sonra ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 giyiyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPetro?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNe var Patron?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cY\u0131lan\u0131 bulmak gerekiyor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYa\u011fmur dinsin hele, gidip getiririm.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPetro?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBuyur Patron?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cY\u0131lan\u0131n nereye gitti\u011fini biliyor musun?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNereden bilece\u011fim yahu?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYa\u011fmurun ne zaman duraca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyor musun?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cM\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fcd\u00fcr Patron, b\u00f6yle g\u00fczel bir \u015feyi bilmek?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBen ne bileyim ulan? Ne zaman arayacaks\u0131n bu y\u0131lan\u0131 peki?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYa\u011fmur dinince.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Birbirimize bak\u0131p g\u00fcl\u00fcyoruz. Biraz ge\u00e7sin, sigara ister. Patron? Efendim? Bir sigara versene. Bu ak\u015fam g\u00f6steri yat\u0131yor gibi. Ya\u011fmur b\u00f6yle giderse, bize yol g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor. Benekli\u2019yi bulmadan gidemeyiz ki?! Asl\u0131nda gideriz de, arkam\u0131zda bir g\u00fczel boa y\u0131lan\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p, bu allah\u0131n belas\u0131 g\u00f6t kasabadan \u0131slak peri\u015fan gitmek, a\u011fr\u0131ma geliyor. Can\u0131m esrar istiyor. T\u00f6vbe diyorum ama istiyor i\u015fte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Petrosyan, sar\u0131 kukuletal\u0131 ya\u011fmurlu\u011funu giyiyor, Tarzan\u2019\u0131 d\u00fcrt\u00fcklemek i\u00e7in kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 ucu \u00e7engelli sopalardan birini al\u0131yor, bir de b\u00fcy\u00fck, mu\u015famba bir torba. Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gidiyor. Aynur yan\u0131mda oturup y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc ok\u015fuyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUykun b\u00f6l\u00fcnde \u0130smail abi. Ke\u015fke seslenmeseydim.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYok. \u0130yi ettin ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131na. Zaten \u00e7ekip gidece\u011fiz buradan, ard\u0131m\u0131zda Benekli\u2019yi b\u0131rakmasak daha iyi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDaha geleli iki gece oldu.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBirinci gece ka\u00e7 ki\u015fi vard\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOtuz \u00fc\u00e7.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u0130kinci gece ka\u00e7 ki\u015fi vard\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYirmi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cB\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131 bug\u00fcn. Kimse gelmez bu gece.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSen bilirsin \u0130smail.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aynur\u2019a bakt\u0131m yan g\u00f6zle. Normal zamanlarda \u0130smail abi derdi bana, oyna\u015fmak istedi\u011fi zamanlar: Isma\u0131l. B\u0131rak \u015fimdi Isma\u0131l\u2019i, \u0130smail\u2019i. Hesaplad\u0131m, Galata Kulesine bin iki y\u00fcz doksan kilometre uzaktay\u0131z. Adamda sevi\u015fecek hal mi kal\u0131r? Ne ilgisi var diyeceksin, \u00e7ok ilgisi var! D\u00fcn gece g\u00f6steriden sonra kumar da iyi gitmedi. Bir bu\u00e7uk milyon i\u00e7eri girdi. Ma\u00e7a k\u0131z\u0131, kupa k\u0131z\u0131 derken. Aynur gitmi\u015f at\u0131 ok\u015fuyordu. Maymunlar sakindi. Tarzan sessizdi. Ya\u011fmur biraz daha h\u0131zland\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131 toplamak gerekiyordu. Ne zaman ya\u011fsa, i\u00e7ine su giriyor, kuruyana kadar rezil oluyoruz. Bu ak\u015fam gelen giden olmazsa, geceyar\u0131s\u0131 toplar\u0131z p\u0131l\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 p\u0131rt\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, yani iki \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, aslan\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, at\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, maymunlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ve bulabilirsek y\u0131lan\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, ben \u0130smail Uygar ve sen Aynur I\u015f\u0131k ve Petrosyan… Petro\u2019nun soyad\u0131 neydi ulan? Petrosyan onun soyad\u0131. Peki \u00f6yleyse ad\u0131 neydi? Nerde kald\u0131 bu herif? Sihirbazl\u0131k aletlerinin durdu\u011fu ye\u015fil \u00fczerine sar\u0131, lacivert y\u0131ld\u0131zl\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n gizli b\u00f6lmesinden bir \u015fi\u015fe konyak \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorum. Kafama dikiyorum, iki yudum. Maymunlar\u0131n biri alk\u0131\u015fl\u0131yor bu sefer. Aynur g\u00fcl\u00fcyor, geliyor kuca\u011f\u0131ma oturuyor, elini ap\u0131\u015f arama koyuyor, dilini kula\u011f\u0131m\u0131n i\u00e7ine sokuyor. Ona da konyak veriyorum. L\u0131k\u0131r l\u0131k\u0131r i\u00e7iyor orospu. Can\u0131m, bitanem Aynur. Kalk k\u0131z! Bir haftad\u0131r u\u011fram\u0131yorum \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131na. \u0130\u00e7imden gelmiyor. K\u00f6t\u00fc d\u00fc\u015fler g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. D\u00fc\u015flerle, d\u00fc\u015f insanlar\u0131yla cebelle\u015fiyorum uyku saatlerimde. Yatak saatlerimin hepsi s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lara harcan\u0131yor. Aynur\u2019un \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131na da Petrosyan giriyor geceleri. Girsin, beni ilgilendirmez. Aynur onu da sever biliyorum. Ben sevi\u015ftikten sonra uyumay\u0131 severim. Bir tek o zaman d\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6rmeden, deliksiz uyuyabiliyorum. Petro\u2019ysa sevi\u015ftikten sonra aslan\u0131n yan\u0131nda bir sigara i\u00e7er, sonra gider b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131ra mandolin \u00e7alar, yan\u0131k g\u00fczel \u015fark\u0131lar s\u00f6yler. T\u00fcrk\u00fc de\u011fil, \u015fark\u0131. G\u00fczel \u015fark\u0131lar, bilmedi\u011fim bir dilde. Ermenice de de\u011fil. Rus\u00e7a, Ermenice, K\u00fcrt\u00e7e, Zazaca, Romanca, Arnavut\u00e7a, \u0130talyanca, \u0130spanyolca, Yunanca konu\u015furum ben. Bir de T\u00fcrk\u00e7e, etti mi sana on dil. Az Almanca, az Frans\u0131zca da bilirim. Petro\u2019nun nece \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yledi\u011fini kestiremedim y\u0131llard\u0131r. Ka\u00e7 kere sordum, her seferinde ayn\u0131 yan\u0131t! Dil mi yok Patron! Uyduruyorum. Bok herif! Aynur \u00f6nce ata, sonra maymunlara havu\u00e7 verdi, sonra ya\u011fan ya\u011fmura ald\u0131rmadan gidip Tarzan\u2019\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki otlar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirdi, etini, suyunu tazeledi. Ben de kalkt\u0131m, Benekli\u2019nin kafesinin k\u0131r\u0131lan cam\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131m, yerine kal\u0131n bir sunta \u00e7akt\u0131m, geri gelirse bu taraftan nah ka\u00e7ar y\u0131lano\u011fluy\u0131lan. Maymunlara \u00e7ektirdi\u011fimiz niyet kutusunun kartonlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan \u00e7ikolatal\u0131 bir gofret ald\u0131m, konya\u011fa kat\u0131k etmeye . Locadaki iskemlelerden iki tanesini \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7ektik, Aynur\u2019la oturduk yan yana, kar\u015f\u0131 tepeleri, \u00e7am korusunu, ya\u011fan ya\u011fmuru, gittik\u00e7e sararan \u00e7amuru ve gri mavi g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc seyrettik. Konyak \u015fi\u015fesi bitince f\u0131rlat\u0131p atmad\u0131m, gidip sand\u0131ktaki yerine yerle\u015ftirdim \u00f6zenle. Onun yan\u0131nda duran ikinci \u015fi\u015feyi ald\u0131m. Maymunlara verdi\u011fimiz kabak \u00e7ekirde\u011fi torbas\u0131ndan da bir avu\u00e7. Aynur\u2019un yan\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fcp oturdum. Y\u00fcz\u00fcme bakt\u0131. Ben ona bakm\u0131yormu\u015f gibi yapt\u0131m. Baksam a\u011flayacakt\u0131m. Osuruk bir durum yani anlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z. Koca adam. Bir ismi var. Sirk sahibi. G\u00f6zlerim dolacak gibi oldu. Konyak \u015fi\u015fesini kafama diksem de, bo\u011faz\u0131ma ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f gibi mi yapsam? Ulan nereden \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcyor bu i\u00e7ine s\u0131\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fc? Bakma k\u0131z\u0131m bana! Bakma diyorum! Cebimden mendilimi \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p g\u00f6zlerimi sildim, burnumu s\u00fcmk\u00fcrd\u00fcm! Of! Oooof of! Mendili yan cebime t\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m, Aynur elimi tuttu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck g\u00fczel, pancar gibi bir el. \u015eeker pancar\u0131. Bakt\u0131m. A\u011fl\u0131yordu. Diliyle g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 yal\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocukken d\u00fc\u015fen kar tanelerini yakalard\u0131k ayn\u0131 y\u00f6ntemle. B\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce de s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fck bu eylemi. Dilimizle. Kar ya\u011fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlar bile. Ne kadar korkun\u00e7 her \u015fey. Ne kadar k\u00f6t\u00fc. Sikti\u011fimin hayat\u0131! Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi gibi de\u011fil. Aynur\u2019un eli, avcumda eriyip k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyordu sanki. B\u0131rakt\u0131m. Fazla samimi olman\u0131n gere\u011fi yok. Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131, ya\u011fmur ya\u011f\u0131yor, can\u0131m\u0131z sevi\u015fmek istemiyor, karn\u0131m\u0131z a\u00e7 de\u011fil, can\u0131m\u0131z s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yor, param\u0131z yok, \u015f\u00f6yle uzanal\u0131m, \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc \u00e7\u0131karal\u0131m, en son ne zaman regli olduk, d\u00fczenli adet g\u00f6r\u00fcyor muyuz, ba\u015f a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z var m\u0131, y\u00fcz k\u0131zarmas\u0131 ve ani terleme oluyor mu, konu\u015furken konudan konuya atl\u0131yor muyuz, alkol ya da ba\u015fka uyu\u015fturucu maddeler al\u0131yor muyuz, g\u00f6zlerimiz doldu\u011fu zaman burnumuzu kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor muyuz, uzan\u0131n ve \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131n, doktorculuk oynayal\u0131m. Kutsal mesleklerin ikincisi doktorluk. Birincisi sirk sahipli\u011fidir. Hem doktor, hem veteriner hem de aptal bir \u00fc\u00e7ka\u011f\u0131t\u00e7\u0131 olmay\u0131 gerektirir \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Aynur uzan\u0131p yan cebimden mendilimi ald\u0131 ve burnunu s\u00fcmk\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Petro hava karar\u0131rken geldi. Elindeki mu\u015famba torbay\u0131 havaya kald\u0131r\u0131p burada, uyuyor, sapasa\u011flam diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Benekli\u2019yi bulmu\u015f. Yakla\u015f\u0131nca \u00f6b\u00fcr eliyle k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7ocuk tuttu\u011funu, \u00e7ocu\u011fun onun yan\u0131nda z\u0131playarak y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc farkettik. Petrosyan yakla\u015f\u0131k iki metro uzunlu\u011funda bir ademo\u011fludur. Elinde tuttu\u011fu \u00e7ocuk bir metro kadard\u0131. Bir elinde y\u0131lan torbas\u0131, \u00f6b\u00fcr elinde \u00e7ocuk yakla\u015f\u0131yordu \u00e7amkorusu taraf\u0131ndan. \u00c7ad\u0131r\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeki \u00e7amur alan\u0131n\u0131n ortas\u0131nda durunca, elini tuttu\u011fu \u015feyin \u00e7ocuk olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 farkettik. Ne \u00e7ocuk, ne c\u00fcce. Petrosyan, Benekli\u2019yle beraber abir ay\u0131 yavrusu getirmi\u015fti. Aynur g\u00f6zlerini k\u0131s\u0131p g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi, can\u0131m diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131. Can\u0131m!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ben k\u0131skan\u00e7 bir insan de\u011filimdir. Bunu s\u00f6ylerken \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli bir \u015feyi a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131yormu\u015fum gibi yapman\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00e7l\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc de biliyorum ama ger\u00e7ekten k\u0131skan\u00e7 de\u011filimdir. Ama \u015fimdi, burada, bu sirk \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131n\u0131n\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131nda, o ya\u011fmurun alt\u0131nda bunun do\u011fru olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sezdim. Ay\u0131 yavrusunu k\u0131skan\u0131yordum, Petrosyan\u2019\u0131 ks\u0131kan\u0131yordum, Aynur\u2019u k\u0131skan\u0131yordum. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00fc de ayr\u0131 ayr\u0131 k\u0131skan\u0131yordum. Ben \u0130smail Uygar. Elli ya\u015f\u0131nda gen\u00e7 bir adam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBir mavi \u00e7ama sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f uyuyordu. Oraya kadar nas\u0131l gitmi\u015f anlamad\u0131m. \u0130ki geni\u015f asfalttan ge\u00e7mesi iktiza ediyor ki ben bile zor ge\u00e7tim. Buldum, toparlad\u0131m, torbaya yerle\u015ftirdim, geriye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fe ge\u00e7ece\u011fim… bu ay\u0131… \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ma. Elinde bir elma. Ben bunlar\u0131 armut yer san\u0131rd\u0131m, me\u011fer elma da yerlermi\u015f. Bir ba\u015fka a\u011faca s\u0131rt\u0131m\u0131 dayay\u0131p bir sigara sard\u0131m, bu elindeki elmay\u0131 bana atar, ben ona geri atar\u0131m. Yakla\u015fm\u0131yor. Bir saat \u00f6yle oynad\u0131k, sonunda s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131p yedi elmay\u0131 ve k\u0131\u00e7\u0131na biber sokmu\u015fuz gibi ko\u015ftu gitti. Tam ayaklan\u0131p d\u00f6nece\u011fim, yeni bir elmayla geri geldi. Haydi, yine ba\u015flad\u0131k oynamaya. Bir saat daha oldu. O elmay\u0131 da yedi, yine f\u0131rt ko\u015fup gitti, yesyeni bir elmayla geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc. \u00dc\u00e7 metro uza\u011f\u0131mda ard ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde, elinde elmas\u0131yla dikildi. G\u00f6zg\u00f6ze geldik. Yere indi elmay\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p yan\u0131ma geldi. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 dizime dayad\u0131, elimi yalad\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ine s\u0131\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n hayat\u0131! Aynen b\u00f6yle oldu. Bir saat daha \u00f6ylece oturduk orada. Sonra ben kalkt\u0131m, y\u0131lan\u0131n torbas\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcklendim, o da kalk\u0131p elimi tuttu, buraya kadar y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc benimle. Ha\u00e7aturyan\u2019\u0131n tencere tava kon\u00e7ertolar\u0131 \u00fczerine yemin ederim ki b\u00f6yle oldu!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Petro, y\u0131lan\u0131 kafesine b\u0131rakt\u0131. Ya\u011fmurlu\u011funu ve \u00e7engelli sopas\u0131n\u0131 orta dire\u011fin \u00e7ivisine \u00e7akt\u0131. Locadan bir iskemle y\u00fcklenip bizim yan\u0131m\u0131za geldi, yerle\u015fti. G\u00f6zlerini k\u0131s\u0131p, \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczde giderek kararan d\u00fcnya par\u00e7as\u0131na bakt\u0131. Yan yana oturuyorduk. Petrosyan, Aynur, ben ve ay\u0131. Ya\u011fmur durmu\u015ftu. Ne zaman ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rememi\u015ftik, ne zaman durdu\u011funu da g\u00f6remedik her zamanki gibi. \u00c7amura ald\u0131rmadan arabaya gittim, bagaj\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki gizli b\u00f6lmeden yirmi y\u0131ll\u0131k bir Black and White \u015fi\u015fesi \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. Gidip yerime oturdum. Petro hafif\u00e7e e\u011filip Aynur\u2019a bakt\u0131. Patronun c\u00f6mertli\u011fi \u00fcst\u00fcnde dedi. Ulan ibne, dedim, ermeni ter\u00f6rist, dedim. Aynur g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. Biz de g\u00fcl\u00fcyorduk. Ay\u0131 yavrusu, Pamuk\u2019la anla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Uyumaya haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu. Ay\u0131 i\u015fte ne olacak! Sen git, ilk ormanda buldu\u011fun bir ermeninin pe\u015fine tak\u0131l, \u0130smail Uygar Sirk\u2019ine instisap et! G\u00fcl\u00fcyorduk. Aynur, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ad\u0131rdan h\u0131yar ve biber tur\u015fular\u0131n\u0131 getirdi. B\u00fct\u00fcn viskiyi bitirdik. Ben oturdu\u011fum yerde uyuyakalm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Sabah kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ya\u011fmur yeniden ya\u011f\u0131yordu. Ay\u0131 yavrusunun benimle yolculuk etmesine karar verdik ve \u00e7ad\u0131rlar\u0131 toplad\u0131k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1992, Ankara.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Memet Baydur, \u201cG\u00f6z\u00fcn kahverengi suyu\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n YKY Eyl\u00fcl 1995 (1. bask\u0131)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Aynur a\u011flamakl\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu. Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131! Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131! Y\u0131lan ka\u00e7t\u0131! Ulan ne y\u0131lan\u0131, nereye ka\u00e7t\u0131, Aynur kim? G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7t\u0131m ve dikiz aynas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Araban\u0131n i\u00e7inde uyuyakalm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Koltu\u011fu d\u00fczeltip d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m, \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7\u0131kmaz bile\u011fime kadar \u00e7amura batt\u0131m. D\u00fcn sabah ba\u015flayan ya\u011fmur, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck alan\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00e7amur y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131na \u00e7evirmi\u015fti. Ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 araban\u0131n i\u00e7inde b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 unutmu\u015fum. Kamyonetin kasas\u0131na y\u00fckledi\u011fimiz kafesin … Okumaya devam et “Tarzan”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7750"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7750"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7751,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7750\/revisions\/7751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}