{"id":2399,"date":"2007-12-05T18:20:16","date_gmt":"2007-12-05T18:20:16","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T21:00:00","slug":"so-much-for-the-self-esteem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/2007\/12\/05\/so-much-for-the-self-esteem\/","title":{"rendered":"so much for the self esteem&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>2000 y\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131, birka\u00e7 sene evvelinde imkans\u0131z gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnen bir \u015fey ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmi\u015f, okulu bitirmi\u015ftim. Sadece okulu bitirmekle de kalmam\u0131\u015f, ODT\u00dc&#8217;ye y\u00fcksek lisans yapmak \u00fczere kabul edilmi\u015ftim. Her \u015fey s\u00fcper gidiyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Dersler iyi ge\u00e7iyor gibiydi. Sonra ilk vizem olan Elektromanyetik s\u0131nav\u0131na girdim, bir s\u0131ra se\u00e7ip oturdum. Az \u00e7ok bir \u015feyler biliyordum ama s\u0131nav ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131n\u0131 elime ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m an bildi\u011fim b\u00fct\u00fcn form\u00fcller buharla\u015f\u0131p u\u00e7tu. <\/p>\n<p>S\u0131navdan \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7\u0131kmaz eve geldim, kendimi yata\u011fa att\u0131m ve bir g\u00fcn boyunca o yataktan \u00e7\u0131kmad\u0131m. Y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. B\u00f6yle bir \u015fey beklemiyordum (sonras\u0131nda sa\u011folsun, Serhat Hoca (\u00c7ak\u0131r) s\u0131navlar\u0131n yan\u0131 s\u0131ra verdi\u011fi projeleri de de\u011ferlendirece\u011fini s\u00f6yledi de, o ilk vizeyi telafi edebildim).<\/p>\n<p>\u0130lk ba\u015fta, sadece y\u00fcksek lisans\u0131 ODT\u00dc&#8217;de (T\u00fcrkiye&#8217;de) yap\u0131p, bitirdi\u011fimde Beng\u00fc ile evlenip doktora i\u00e7in birlikte yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131na gitmeyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum ama o g\u00fcn ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hezimet nedeniyle, ders i\u015flerinde kendime g\u00fcvenim tuzla buz oldu ve dersler ve s\u0131navlar s\u00f6z konusu oldu\u011fu s\u00fcrece, b\u00f6yle bir riski alamayaca\u011f\u0131ma karar verdim. <\/p>\n<p>Akademik hayat\u0131m b\u00f6yle ini\u015f-\u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015flarla dolu. \u0130\u015fte dedi\u011fim gibi, \u0130T\u00dc&#8217;den mezun oldu\u011fumda, ODT\u00dc&#8217;ye kabul edildi\u011fimde, hele yeterlili\u011fi verdi\u011fimde, postdoc&#8217;a buraya kabul edildi\u011fimde, tezim &#8220;y\u0131l\u0131n tezi&#8221; \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fc se\u00e7ildi\u011finde b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyay\u0131 tutup kald\u0131rabilirim gibi hissettim hep, ama hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kal\u0131c\u0131 de\u011fil.<\/p>\n<p>Bug\u00fcn burada yerel bir y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131 olan <b>Sinterklaas<\/b> kutlan\u0131yor. \u0130lk ba\u015fta Sinterklaas ve Kara Piet&#8217;ler garip hatta sa\u00e7ma gelse de, o kadar i\u00e7ten kutlan\u0131yor ve g\u00fcnler \u00f6ncesinden ufak ufak haz\u0131rl\u0131klar ba\u015fl\u0131yor ki, normal kar\u015f\u0131lamaya ba\u015fl\u0131yorsunuz. <\/p>\n<p>\u0130ki \u00e7ar\u015fambad\u0131r bizim grup toplan\u0131yoruz, herkes ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131yor k\u0131saca. Ge\u00e7en hafta benim de oldu\u011fum ilk toplant\u0131y\u0131 yapt\u0131k, s\u0131ra bana geldi\u011finde vakit yetmedi. Bu hafta o y\u00fczden, ilk ben ba\u015flayay\u0131m dedik, bir anda her \u015fey birbirine ge\u00e7ti, \u00f6ylece kalakald\u0131m. Bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u015feyi yanl\u0131\u015f s\u00f6yledim, bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u015feyi s\u00f6yleyemedim, hat\u0131rlayamad\u0131m, bilemedim&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u015e\u00fcphesiz k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015feydi ama \u00f6yle \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey de\u011fil (d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonu hi\u00e7 de\u011fil 8). Haftaya telafi ederim ama yine patlatt\u0131k balonu <i>(bkz. Samuraylar, egolar ve balonlar)<\/i>. Neyse, Allah mah\u00e7up etmesin, kimseyi utand\u0131rmas\u0131n.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"images\/zwarte_ece.jpg\" alt=\"\"><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>2000 y\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131, birka\u00e7 sene evvelinde imkans\u0131z gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnen bir \u015fey ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmi\u015f, okulu bitirmi\u015ftim. Sadece okulu bitirmekle de kalmam\u0131\u015f, ODT\u00dc&#8217;ye y\u00fcksek lisans yapmak \u00fczere kabul edilmi\u015ftim. Her \u015fey s\u00fcper gidiyordu. Dersler iyi ge\u00e7iyor gibiydi. Sonra ilk vizem olan Elektromanyetik s\u0131nav\u0131na girdim, bir s\u0131ra se\u00e7ip oturdum. Az \u00e7ok bir \u015feyler biliyordum ama s\u0131nav ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131n\u0131 elime ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m an &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/2007\/12\/05\/so-much-for-the-self-esteem\/\" class=\"more-link\">Okumaya devam et<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;so much for the self esteem&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2399"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2399"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2399\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}