![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.emresururi.com\/blogs\/sururi\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/227886_6664534190_9119_n.jpg\")
<\/p>\nMevlevilikte 40 g\u00fcnl\u00fck bir \u00e7ile vard\u0131r: Dervi\u015f, nefsini e\u011fitmek i\u00e7in, 40 g\u00fcn boyunca minimumda yiyip-i\u00e7ece\u011fi, uyuyaca\u011f\u0131, zaman\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funu ibadetle ge\u00e7irece\u011fi bir h\u00fccreye konur(mu\u015f). \u0130lk g\u00fcn 40 zeytinle ba\u015flay\u0131p, her g\u00fcn bir zeytin azalt\u0131larak, g\u00fcn\u00fc o kadar yiyecekle ge\u00e7irirmi\u015f. 40 g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda ise \u015feyhinin yan\u0131na \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p r\u00fcyalar\u0131n\u0131, tefekk\u00fcrlerini anlat\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. \u015eeyhi uygun g\u00f6r\u00fcrse s\u0131nav\u0131 ge\u00e7mi\u015f olurmu\u015f, \u00f6b\u00fcr durumda ise hemen bir sonraki \u00e7ileye girermi\u015f. Bu \u00e7ile, k\u0131rk g\u00fcn durumundan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc, Arap\u00e7a ‘k\u0131rk’ anlam\u0131na gelen Erbain olarak da adland\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u00c7orlulu Ali Pa\u015fa Medresesi, “20’li ya\u015flar”…<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bunlar\u0131 \u0130smet \u00d6zel’in 40 ya\u015f\u0131na kadar (yani a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131kl\u0131 olarak siyasi y\u00f6nelimini t\u00e2 k\u00f6k\u00fcne kadar de\u011fi\u015ftirmeden \u00f6nce) yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fiirleri toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 Erbain kitab\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 merak edince \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftim (benzer bir bilgi de rahmetli Metin Alt\u0131ok’un ‘S\u00fcveyda’s\u0131 ile gelmi\u015fti). Bu giri\u015fin ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ad\u0131n\u0131 veren \u015fiiri de \u015f\u00f6yle ba\u015flar nitekim:<\/p>\n Ben \u0130smet \u00d6zel, \u015fair, k\u0131rk ya\u015f\u0131nda. (tan\u0131d\u0131k gelirse, Mazhar-Fuat-\u00d6zkan’\u0131n ‘A\u011flamadan’ \u015fark\u0131s\u0131ndan olabilir…)<\/p>\n Erbain’i kitapl\u0131kta arad\u0131m, bulamad\u0131m, verilmi\u015f\/kaybolmu\u015f\/gitmi\u015f bir \u015fekilde bir yerlere. Sezai Karako\u00e7’lar\u0131n yan\u0131ndad\u0131r dedim, Sezai Karako\u00e7’lar\u0131 Cemal S\u00fcreya’lar\u0131n yan\u0131nda arad\u0131m, Sezai Karako\u00e7lar ba\u015fka odada \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 ama \u0130smet \u00d6zel’i bulamad\u0131m, sa\u011fl\u0131k olsun, art\u0131k gidenlere (Metin Alt\u0131ok, G\u00fclten Ak\u0131n, hele de Edip Cansever ile Ahmet Ha\u015fimler!..) takm\u0131yorum kafay\u0131. 40 ya\u015f\u0131na kitap \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildi\u011fim iki \u015fair daha var: Haydar Erg\u00fclen’in\u00a040 \u015fiir ve Bir…<\/em> (Heves)’i ile, Murathan Mungan’\u0131n Murathan ’95<\/em>‘i.<\/p>\n Ne \u00e7ok severim Haydar Erg\u00fclen’in Adam’\u0131n\u0131 (san\u0131yorum ilk eXpress’te yay\u0131nlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama emin olamad\u0131m \u015fimdi),\u00a040 \u015eiir ve Bir…<\/em>‘e de alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131:<\/p>\n -idil’e-<\/p>\n O \u015fehre davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n gibi davran bana da Bir \u015fehri k\u0131skan\u0131yorum, benim b\u00f6yle neyim var?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u015eiir yay\u0131nland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ben hala \u0130stanbul’da, \u0130T\u00dc s\u0131ralar\u0131nda, Ankara’n\u0131n hayalini kuruyordum, \u015fiiri bir ka\u011f\u0131da yazm\u0131\u015f, c\u00fczdan\u0131mda ta\u015f\u0131r olmu\u015ftum. Yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda idim. Bug\u00fcn 40 ya\u015f\u0131ma girdim.<\/p>\n 40 ya\u015f\u0131ma en g\u00fczel s\u00fcrprizlerden biri Steam’den geldi: yaz nedeniyle bir s\u00fcr\u00fc oyuna s\u00fcper indirimler yapm\u0131\u015flar, ben de ne zamand\u0131r ucuzlamas\u0131n\u0131 bekledi\u011fim Firewatch<\/a>‘u b\u00f6yle g\u00f6r\u00fcnce (indirim 5 Temmuz’a kadar devam ediyormu\u015f), hemen al\u0131verdim, dald\u0131m i\u00e7ine. Ben, do\u011fa gezilerini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce, Gone Home<\/a> gibi, sessiz sakin, dipten ilerleyen bir \u015fey bekliyordum, pek \u00f6yle \u00e7\u0131kmasa da, g\u00fczeldi nitekim, do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcm kutlu oldu.<\/p>\n Her do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcmde \u015fa\u015f\u0131rarak ve sevinerek beni seven insanlar\u0131n ne kadar fazla oldu\u011funu fark ediyorum. Whatsapp’dan yazanlara an\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verdim, geriye emailler ve facebook tebrikleri kald\u0131 (24 Haziran g\u00fcnleri facebook’a girdi\u011fim ender g\u00fcnlerin ba\u015f\u0131nda gelmekte 8). Firewatch’un sonunda, credits ekran\u0131nda \u00e7almakta olan \u015fark\u0131y\u0131 ilk defa dinledim, \u00e7ok be\u011fendim (Beng\u00fc “40 ya\u015f\u0131nda resmen cazc\u0131 oldun sonunda!” diye tak\u0131lsa da, bunun caz de\u011fil, soul oldu\u011fu konusunda uyard\u0131m kendisini).<\/p>\n
\nHer \u015fey ben ya\u015farken oldu, bunu bilsin insanlar
\nben ya\u015farken koptu tufan
\nben ya\u015farken yeni ba\u015ftan yarat\u0131ld\u0131 kainat
\nher \u015feyi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm i\u00e7im rahat
\ng\u00f6k yar\u0131ld\u0131, \u00e7amura can verildi
\nlin\u00e7 edilmem i\u00e7in art\u0131k b\u00fct\u00fcn deliller elde
\nkazanad\u0131m nefretini fahi\u015felerin
\nlanet ediyor bana bakireler de.
\nS\u00f6zlerim var k\u00f6pr\u00fcleri ge\u00e7irmez
\nkimseyi ate\u015ften korumaz kelimelerim
\nk\u0131l\u0131\u00e7s\u0131z\u0131m, sayg\u0131m kalmad\u0131 bu\u011fday saplar\u0131na
\nu\u00e7tum ama u\u00e7u\u015fum
\nradarlarla izlendi
\ngayret ettim ve s\u00f6vd\u00fcm
\nbu da ge\u00e7ti polis kay\u0131tlar\u0131na.*<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nO \u015fehre gitti\u011fin gibi bana da git u\u00e7arak
\nbana da in, bana da kon ve el salla geride
\nb\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131na: Elveda benim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck adam\u0131m!
\nufac\u0131ktan bir \u015fehri nas\u0131l adam ettinse,
\nSevdinse adam gibi, beni de o \u015fehir gibi
\nsev! Korkma sak\u0131n, adam etmez a\u015fk beni,
\nge\u00e7 benden, benim de k\u00f6pr\u00fclerim var,
\na\u015fk\u0131 seyret oradan, dalg\u0131n g\u00fcn\u00fcm ge\u00e7iyor,
\nbenim de gecelerim var, danset, eteklerin
\nf\u0131rd\u00f6ns\u00fcn, sen bana d\u00f6n, bana e\u015flik et,
\nbenim de sabahlar\u0131m var, uyanmaya ne saat,
\nne telefon, ne kap\u0131: bisikletin zilini
\ndizlerini kanatan bir deli k\u0131z \u00e7als\u0131n yeter ki!
\nBenim de parklar\u0131m var, uzan\u0131ver salk\u0131msa\u00e7ak
\n\u00fcst\u00fcme, dal\u0131mdan tut, benim de yapraklar\u0131m var
\ng\u00fcne\u015fli g\u00f6vdene m\u00fcjde eli kula\u011f\u0131nda bahar,
\nbenim de \u015fiirlerim var, a\u015fk konulu, senin
\no \u015fehri sevmene benziyor, seni sevmeye
\nbenziyor adamak\u0131ll\u0131 serserin olana kadar<\/p>\n